The Too Hard Basket
Why is it that we continue to feel so frustrated and so confused by what we should, could or must do when we want to get healthier. There’s such an overabundance of information already available to us and in reality we all inherently know the core foundations to improve our health - move and exercise more, eat better, get quality sleep, reduce stress.
So, if we know these things already - why does it feel so hard? Why isn't everyone just walking around feeling really amazing and healthy? The reality is, in part, because the journey to better health requires change and change is hard work. Deep down we’re looking for ways to achieve immediate shifts with minimal effort, ways where the thinking is done for us, a plan to just mindlessly follow, and we’re looking for immediate results to top. But the truth lies in the fact that to create the right change, a long term consistent commitment to it and the right mindset is everything.
So what's the cause of this issue? Not enough will power? No. Too lazy? Not at all. Too busy? Not really. The problem, as I see it in my line of work, is we’re going in too big, too hard, too soon. I hear it all the time - “Right, that's it. I'm hitting the gym every day for the next 3 months and going on a diet” … And, “That’s it, I’m going to stop drinking for a year" or "I'm cutting all my carbs out from now on" - the list goes on… But long term this will end up in the too hard basket, I can almost guarantee it.
If the bar is too high, right from the start we're immediately setting ourselves up for failure. Compounded by the stress of the guilt as you presume you’re failing each time you ‘don’t stick to it’. And then you may blame yourself for a myriad of things that are untrue. The problem is not you - the problem is that that approach is not achievable, it is not set up for success.
Shrink the change. Get your big goal and turn it into very very very very very small goals that get you there over time. You’ve heard it before, research shows you're far more likely to succeed this way. Here’s a generic example:
Goal - Get fitter, lose 10kgs. Plan: Go to the gym 5 times a week, eat salads.
(but wait….you’re a full time working parent of 2, juggling stress of work, busy family life, master chef expectations, caring for the pets, planning the parties, the play dates, the social activities, lacking in quality sleep and trying to be a superhuman master of everything all at the same time and there’s not enough hours in the day to even blink.
No, no no. So many reasons why you won’t reach your goal, and you’ll end up even more frustrated than before. Be kind to yourself, simplify.
Here’s a very generic example of what I mean:
Goal: Get fitter, fit into my nice clothes that are too small for me at the moment. Plan: do something today that gets me started!
Week 1. Fit in one 10 minutes walk for the week.
Week 2. Up your walk to 15 minutes and do it twice a week.
Week 3. Now you're walking for 20 minutes 3 times a week. Add in some hills.
Week 4: Add in another 25 minutes walk or, if you don't have that luxury of added time, then increase your intensity by walking faster, find steeper hills, change the terrain, or wear a backpack with additional load.
…And so on. Tip- try to do this with a walking buddy for accountability.
The aim is to keep it small, keep it simple and build on it holistically. Not only will your body have time to adapt, but you will make it achievable, be able to be satisfied and celebrate your wins and keep on going a little more each time.
This builds healthy habits, this builds momentum, it’s sustainable without adding stress to an already busy life and gives you confidence to carry on. These small wins release dopamine in your brain. This neurotransmitter not only makes you feel pleasure but is also responsible for learning and motivation. Your brain learns from your success and soon the decisions towards healthier choices are being instinctively made for you!
One other important factor for success is to have a support network. This might be a friend, partner, or your chosen pit crew of health professionals to help you along. Willpower is a limited resource, we’re creatures of habits for ease and convenience - so don’t try to do it alone. Build your support around you.
Here are some great questions and things to reflect on as you sit down to plan your journey:
1. Are you ready for change?
2. Are you ready to commit to what’s needed to create that change?
3. What are your reasons for wanting change?
4.Make your plan. Set your goals week by week that are realistically timed to reach your bigger goal.
5. Focus on what's working and not dwelling on what isn't. Positive psychology goes a long way.
6. Be kind to yourself and trust that you will succeed and each day gets you closer.
Remember, change is difficult. There is no quick fix and no silver bullets. Patience and progress are the key - focus on those incremental achievements and it will truly lead you towards where you want to be.
Enjoy the journey, it’s not a sprint!
Thanks for reading!
Rich
